Customer: I can do that. I'm not very
technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
Customer Service Rep: The first step is to
open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several
programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?
Customer Service Rep: What programs are
running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE,
LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will
automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may
remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called
HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can
you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off.
Can you tell me how?
Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your
Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started
installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should
receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do
you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely
installed?
Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that
you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in
order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message
already. What should I do?
Customer Service Rep: What does the message
say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM
NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
Customer Service Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's
a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external
HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to
"LOVE" your own machine before It can "LOVE"others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Customer Service Rep: Can you find the
directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are
getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Customer Service Rep: You're welcome. Click
on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system
will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming.
Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty
your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes
back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up
with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it
shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves
all over my HEART!
Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed
and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I
go...
Customer: Yes?
Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be
sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in
turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules
back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
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